there are naturally attractive people and then there are people like me who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting

Why was the killer whale fired from his restaurant job? Because he didn’t serve a porpoise…

What date is it today? 2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

How are wearing Crocs like having butt sex with a guy? It feels really good until you look down and realize you’re gay.

An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he’s Hungarian he says “yep, but my name’s not Arian”

What doesn’t kill you might come back to finish the job off so keep your wits about you.

What is Peyton Manning’s favorite Counting Crows song? Omaha

“Sorry I didn’t reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off… Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!”

What did one crab say to the other? “Damn this bitch is nasty!”

How do you get into a Native American restaurant? [OC] You make a reservation