I like homophobes Homophones, I mean homophones!

What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

Nephew: What’s love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

I like my asshole just like my women’s pussy Without some other guy’s dick in it

Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour.

What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They’re afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!

How do you know if you’re a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood.

This Halloween, make your friends run in terror by walking into their parties as “guy with acoustic guitar”.

Brangelina is no more. And it’s really sad to see that Brad Pitt is now just ‘Br’ while Angelina Jolie gets her whole forename back.