Nsfw. My wife and I had not had sex in a couple months but this morning she woke up randy… He is our neighbor and said her music was up too loud. We still havent had sex.

Where did little Timmy go during the bombing? Everywhere

In the future when cats rule the world, the currency will be Cuteness and i will be a poor and lonely man

If the police really wanted DUI checkpoints to be effective, they’d set them up inside Taco Bell drive-thrus.

What smells better than it taste? A nose

I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to myself.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward? [OC] A receeding Herr line.

Whenever I stub my toe I automatically blame and hate the next person I see.

The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week. There was no coffin at the funeral

Pretty typical that a female Asian drove Reddit into a ditch, and now a white man has to dig it out.