The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

Niggawatt Def: theoretical unit of work. The amount of work 1 black man can produce in 1 hour.

A magic genie granted a man one wish. “I wish I had a dick that touched the floor” the man said. The genie then snapped his fingers and *poof* The man’s legs disappeared.

Why shouldn’t you write with a dull pencil? It’s pointless

Planning on starting a restaurant called ‘Cobalt 60’. Food will obviously be something to die for.

I once shot a deer in my pajamas… How it got in my pajamas, I will never know.

Glad I spent 40 minutes getting my 1 year old dressed so she could go outside for 3 seconds.

when i hear fat people say that they’ve made mistakes, i always think to myself, “yeaa…at the grocery store.”

I identify as a sexual atheist With a strong belief that I will never get laid.

The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson.