I think my blind girlfriend just broke up with me She said she wanted to see other people.

I’ve decided to give karate a break for a little while… I guess you could say I am going on a HI-YA-tus.

My Home Internet Password 2kids1dog. Thats an orgy I don’t want to be apart of.

I’ll do your taxes for free if you tell my mom we’re dating.

Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well… .. He just doesn’t know me.

Girls look back at your wedding photos, if you are fatter than that, he is not happy..

I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid.

How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips.

ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth