What’s God’s favorite guitar chord? G sus

During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

I hope I get a watch for Christmas! Because there’s no present like the time.

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning? Because she has two faces.

Did you hear what that guy said to the Reddit moderator the other day? **[Deleted]**

What will Kayne West’s political leaning be if he runs for President? West wing

I don’t have a girlfriend…. I just know a few people who would get mad if I said that.

If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt.

What do Jews love most about their mobile phones? They can charge them.

Rick Astley asked to borrow my Pixar collection. I said “Rick, you can have Toy Story, Cars & Finding Nemo but I’m never gonna give you Up”