Why did the Chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide

I lost 40 Pounds in 4 months!! I didn’t realize the British stock market was so volatile.

Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o’clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy.

I’d hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth Because they think that Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair.

Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet.

Being Poor A man complains to his wife saying, “We’re so poor we can’t even afford punchlines to our jokes!” And she says…

THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED! Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U

That awkward moment when Chris Brown sees a hot chick and says “I’d hit that.”

A child was born with no eyelids, so doctors created some using his foreskin It worked okay, but he was a little cockeyed

Your porn name is your first pet and the street you grew up on? So my porn name is Glenn Beck? Fuck that shit!