I saw my brother kiss my uncle today. I’m starting to think he’s relatively gay.

How to avoid clickbait? clearly, you wouldn’t know…

Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus.

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris? Ape Suzettes!

Detective: how were u able to do it? Serial Killer: thanks to the flexibility of Uber. I was able to work my own hours and still murder

Imagine if last names were invented now, so instead of “Smith” and “Baker,” we had “Frontenddeveloper” and “Socialmediaconsultant.”

Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say “Ask me again later.”

What do you call a hooker with no limits? Your mom.

“I made $200.05 giving BJ’s to people yesterday.” “Who gave you a nickel?” “Everyone did.”

What’s the difference between MLK day and St Patrick’s day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!