Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage.

Green Lantern That name has a nice ring to it

Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats–taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.

Lovey dovey couples look best when viewed through the scope of a high powered rifle.

Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What’s one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers.

What’s every movie critic’s favorite cooking ingredient? Michael Bay Leaves.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Have you seen www.veryangry.com? No AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb…? …to get to the other side

Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we.