BREAKING NEWS: California’s drought is over Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners.

I’m gonna make like a standards censor and get the fuck outta here.

The Camping Chemist Why do chemists never do well on camping trips? Because they pack titrations.

Where does Dracula live? Monte Cristo

I used to think that “Lacrosse”… Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves… …Free

Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs

I just got an email offering “free bible verses”. You know, because who can afford bible verses?

“well well well, if it isn’t the person who didn’t like my Instagram photo” is how i like to address pretty much everyone

Why did the ghost cross the road to get to the “Other Side”.