Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.

Kids and adults loved it so, the happy world of Harambe. #neverforget

I call my Penis Batman… … Woman love it, when the dark night rises.

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice.

I would make a joke about Mexicans… …but that would be crossing the border

Do you want to hear a joke about suicide? So there was this girl.

I wasn’t trying to put you on a pedestal. I was trying to bend you over it.

I’m dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She’s not half-bad.

Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: He couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer!

TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause? His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered.