Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?

I don’t know why beer companies bother with an expiration date… it’s never going to make it anywhere near that.

Have you seen the movie Constipated? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.

Fart tutor wanted, must have references

Egyptians don’t walk like that.

Why are there no podiatrist generals? Because all they know is de feet

Batman can safe the world ,but clark kent

What is the worst type of sand to have in your pants? Sandusky

Christian Bale won Best Supporting Actor for playing a mentally unstable drug addict.And then Charlie Sheen was like, “You can get an award for that?

Why do Steven Avery’s victims see him naked from the waist down? Because his lawyers keep filing away his briefs.