How do you make a space party? -You PLANet

I went to the doctor yesterday I told him my penis suddenly turned into a tiny green ball. He said I may have peacock syndrome.

If someone stole Sherlock Holmes’ magnifying glass, how would he search for clues? Using watSonar

ActivityBuddy A new app is sweeping the AppStore, using GPS technology similar to Grindr/ Tinder, ActivityBuddy matches up people who enjoy the same activity. The #1 activity? Anonymous gay sex.

Spent the day attempting crazy driving stunts because I forgot to read the fine print at the bottom of a car commercial.

What do you call the 1 yard line at the Super Bowl? …A running play – Obviously…

“how’d your football team football today?” those footballers footballed quite well…really good footballin’

May be behind but what do you call a Curiosity with only 2 wheels Bi-curious

Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He’s very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I had the worst night last night.. The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared in front of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.