If you don’t get my Harry Potter references, there is something siriusly ron with you

They say that the best airing time is 20:00… …but I think 19:59 is the real prime time.

ran outta bowls so i filled the cups of a bra with peanuts on one side, chips on the other then carried it to the couch. im 26, available

When someone says “I need this done yesterday” it’s like I’m not going to be bossed around by someone who doesn’t understand how time works

Why do people love their smartphones so much? Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

If Twitter has taught me anything it’s that the best career choice is divorce lawyer.

I went to the zoo the other day… The only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih tzu

pull my upvote

main difference between /news/ mods and north korea? one side executes people for no reasons and puts people in detentions camps, the other one is a country.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus, the clowns don’t talk.