I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs. I had no idea how to pronounce her name.

Ever hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he.

It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog.

Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day.

What sex position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

The definition of mixed emotions… My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car

Saudi Arabia… …is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, “Am I menacing?” I said, “Of course, you’re a choir girl.”

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? father’s day

Did some stand up at a bird sanctuary… They were eating out of the palm of my hands.