Hard to concentrate on work with Arbor Day so close.

Why do old Jews watch pornos backwards? They like to see the hookers give the money back””

How do you greet a gay Hispanic? Homo Estas!

They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks… It was NAS-tea

Bono and The Edge walks into a bar. The barman says “Oh God, not U2 again.”

I live a Sinatra lifestyle. I’m just being frank with you.

I came very close to death last night. I had a wank in a graveyard.

What did the bacon say to the sandwich? This club can’t even handle me right now

What type of animal browses Reddit? Karma-vore

What is black and doesn’t work? Decaffeinated coffee.