So I called my friend turkey and I said to him “Turkey, la gente esta muy loca. What the cluck?”

Girl are you a ringtone? Because you’re really annoying and just get louder when I ignore you.

What does FIAT stand for? Fix It Again Tony

What’s the best part about a redneck family fight? The makeup sex

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram? Llamaste.

Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread.

How do you make a horomone? You don’t pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )

why do scuba divers go in the water backwards? because if they go forward they would fall inside the boat.

Did you hear about the new emo website? Check it out it’s www.emo.com/wrists

*pulls back your shower curtain* What did you mean by “creepy”