One woodworm met another. “How’s life?” she asked. “Oh same as usual” he replied “boring.”

I see dead people. No wait, I take that back. I see people I want dead.

CNN got really excited about the #TransAsia plane until they found out it’s not missing so now they don’t care.

Single and divorced men in their 40’s prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age.

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? a PILOT, you fucking racist!

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.

Football is like Sex your mom sucks at both

How long do you think it will take for gays to find out? That a gay marriage is as much an oxymoron as a gay funeral?

Sex Joke So an egg walked up to a sperm and said, “You cum here often.”

If you don’t pay your exorcist You get repossessed