What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R but his first love will always be the C.

My friend got drunk and thinks he had sex with a prostitute… At first he wasn’t sure, but then he was *positive*.

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

I like my women like I like my M.C. Escher paintings Impossibly proportioned

My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy… I said “Dont you mean an African American computer?” and he replied “Stop being so PC”

New TomTom voice over I got a new TomTom and changed his voice to Chewbacca. Left is BRRRRRRRRRRR and right is BRRRRRRRRRRR And when I’m at my distination : i still dont know

What did the cold pipe say to the to hot pipe? Nothing,pipes can’t talk. Thank you

Did you hear that the North American Man/Boy Love Association go a new tech support guy? He’s an e-NAMBLA.

Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong.

I do not need to have a threesome… … if I want to disappoint two people at once, I go to dinner with my parents.