Why do I tell jokes in elevators? Because they’re funny on many levels.

“I had the worst Cruise ever.” – Katie Holmes

What do you call a nomadic caveman? A meanderthal.

I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say “He’s in a better place now.”

Listen, if you are going to someone’s house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.

“Here’s your cup of Joe” – Joe at the sperm bank

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend? Rip in peace

They say a woman’s work is never done that’s probably why they get paid less

I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters

What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.