My Wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall… I said maybe……….

Mick Jagger: Hey Keith, come hold my new baby. Keith holding baby, whispers to it: I’m going to out live you too.

In god we trust Everyone else must pay cash

What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use? Sprint

I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable.

What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread? A clubbed sandwich

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

What`s the difference between chinese people and racism? Racism has many faces

Leia: This is romantic Han: I know Chewie: Rwwar Leia: Does he have to be here? Han: It’s a life debt. You’re basically marrying us both

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?? A Brazilian