What do DNA and Diarrhea have in common? They both run in your jeans (genes)

When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the “R”

My ex broke up with me but left a bag of chips in my car. 3 weeks passed and I texted “I still got your chips if you want them.”

I accidentally left a butt plug up her ass for 2 weeks… No shit

Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they’d be aspirin tablets!

I just got back from r/Synesthesia It tasted great!

Knock knock..Who’s there?..Interrupting coefficient of friction.. The interrupting coeff— MU!

Why should we call Indians Native Americans? Most of those ones over in Asia have never even been to the States.

Why are most Muslims broke all the time? They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

2 words can open up many doors in your life. Push and Pull