Duck Dynasty guy is right– if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons.

I have a split personality No he doesn’t

I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.

Why don’t you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

What Is Bluetooth ? When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

I heard a guy at the beach screaming, “HELP! SHARK! HELP!” I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn’t going to help him.

What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue

The director of “A Girl in the River” went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars

ADHD is ADD in high definition.

Imagine me naked. Wrong. Fatter.