Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office? Because it was a mail dominated industry

Why shouldn’t you sleep with a weatherman? They’ll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you’ll only get 3 to 5.

I’m trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I’m driving naked.

Don’t look out of the window Betty people will think it’s Halloween.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

Judge: I sentence you to life in prison Defendant: NOOOO MY ONLINE PRESENCE

What’s the best reason to date a pornstar? You never have to meet her father.

My new bowflex comes tomorrow…so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.

What is nine inches long and keeps a woman up screaming all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

What do you call a dog with short legs and steel balls? Sparky