Still haven’t forgiven my parents for not being rich.

I had to pay for a satellite dish But the salesman said it was on the house.

I just posted “How do I find answers using Google.com?” on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

[spelling bee] “your word is… death” can you use it in a sentence? “in most states, yes”

I’m so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards

Thomas Jefferson’s dad’s name was Thomas Jefferdad. Really makes you think

Mexicans cats are attacking my home! Looks like a “Gato raid”

“No, Dad, Vampire Weekend is not like Shark Week…”

A joke about the mods [removed]

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb should be willing to change.