How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’ll just beat the room for being black!

So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station… …and says to the attendant: “Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please.” The attendant replies: “That sounds like a good deal!”

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he’s crying in the corner.

Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We’d been married for 12 years.

What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to? Elementary 🙂

My terrible Joke but I never forget it. A dyslexic man walked into a bra….

I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he’d picked up every time.

I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don’t have Windows.

Where do drinks go on vacation? Coaster Rica

What do you call a number that won’t sit still? A roamin’ numeral. 😛