Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.

My ex-girlfriend was a slut. She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please.

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.

I wonder if dog’s had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.

How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients

Simba – “welcome to… The bone zone” Nala – “the what?” Simba – “elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard”

After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8

Don’t buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone… and I am still asian.

Why was the baby ant so confused? Because all of his uncles were ants!

If you pour two beers in one glass, it’s just one beer.