Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle.

I milked the cow “We don’t have a cow” the neighbors’ cow then “Their cat?” Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo “Meow” Ah shoot

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn’t until I spanked a statue that I realised I’d hit rock bottom.

Kids are like farts. You don’t mind your own, but others peoples are just unbearable

How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!

What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex.

Did you hear about the skeleton who didn’t go to prom? He had no body to go with.

I’d kill for a microwave that plays Europe’s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ……….Nothing you’ve already told her twice!

An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: “Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”