Things have really turned around for me since I re-named my penis and testicles “JD Power and Associates”.

Donald Trump will ban the sale of shredded cheese He wants to make America grate again

I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before!

A Mexican fireman had twin boys He named them Jose and Hose B

“I can’t stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates.” –Stephen Hawking

yeah girl.. shake that thing where poop comes out of. it really turns me on when your poop factory shakes faster than usual

Bill Clinton must be the luckiest man in the world. All of the sex he has, with Hillary, you know it’s hate sex.

What did the car said to the valet? I’ve been through a lot.

I saw a French rifle on eBay today It’s never been fired but I heard it was dropped once.

What’s black, blue and doesn’t look too well? Stevie Wonder