Involuntary Owl Knock knock. Who’s there? Involuntary owl. Involuntary owl who?

A man walks into a chemists “Hi, I’d like some Viagra please” asks the man. “I’m sorry” says the Pharmacist. “You can’t get that over the counter.” “You can if you take enough.” replies the man.

Still waiting for what didn’t kill me to make me strong.

do the Simpsons know they’re all dying of jaundice

What to hear something funny? Original Content

The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to “knock” the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl… but then they realized that was queer.

When someone says “but i thought…” in defense Well, a guy thought that shit is a sugar so he shat into his cofee. How did that help him, hm? Props to my dad for this one.

My ex-girlfriend had eczema She had a cracking fanny.

Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.

Kid just asked “why is it called ‘flipping the bird’? Why not turtle? Flipping the Turtle.” I can’t even answer that bc WHY NOT TURTLE?!