We all have one ginger friend that claims to be “strawberry blonde”.

Jurassic World was fantastic movie… In fact you could say, they “spared no expense”

I’m gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV(RTV) and play nothing but music videos

Ignoring your text is easy. It’s having to park my car 8 blocks away so you think I’m not home when you drive by that’s awkward.

Why does the Catholic Church protect paedophiles? Because the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam.

Why is it bad to have a strong American dollar? It’s harder to break bills.

Black Friday Matters!! No, all Fridays matter.

A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee… That wasn’t even a real superlative. I swear, this guy…

What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck

Who are the most decent people in the hospital? The ultrasound people.!! lol