What do you call a French vacation? A retreat.

Headline: “American Pharoah Wins 1st Triple Crown Title Since 1978” That is one long-lived horse.

The way I bend the rules should qualify as yoga.

A San Francisco man is running seven marathons in seven days on seven continents; he’s expected to be seven times as annoying about it.

Down in de islands, what do they call de dew in de morning? Daylight come!

Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception. It will make him limp

What do the ninja turtles say when bad guys ask them where they learnt to fight Master splinter tortoise

Why did the chicken cross the road? The first side smelled bad.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a car accident? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.

COP: Nobody on the main floor. Let’s check upsta– GIRAFFE COP: Nobody upstairs