What connects the computers in Sauron’s office? A Tolkien Ring network.

What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? Make a seizure salad

I’m a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard… we’re gonna have problems.

If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be famous for? Their age!

You Are What Your Eat I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.

A Muslim, a black guy, a horse, a pirate, a gay, a chicken and a rabbi all walk into a bar… The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

A man goes into a library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian says “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”

Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!

Why did 6 wanna fuck 7? Cus 7 8 ass.

Coming this Christmas, an ageing misogynist and his quest to correct all women in his path. Hugh Grant stars in “Actually, Love”.