A photo caption in the paper this am “Bertha the ostrich take a break.” A break from what? Ostriching?

What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.

What’s long and black? The unemployed line.

A really drunk guy… A really drunk guy gets into a taxi and says “Heeeyy cab guy, can I leave the pizza and the beer in the front seat?” “yeah no problem” -BHLUAGHH-

What do you call 12 guys with big dicks? A hung jury

I must be baked Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin looked at the other muffin and said, “Hey man, is it getting hot in here?” And the other muffin said, “Ahhhhh! You can talk!”

Say what you want about deaf people…

All dogs go to heaven… But all snakes are athe-hissssssssssts

OK – who knows their Soupy Sales lines? I’ll give you the set-ups, you give us the lines.

“Hey babe, you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”