I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, When i woke up, my pillow was gone.

I like my coffee like I like my women. Without some other guy’s dick in it.

What’s a Chinese fisherman’s least favorite part of living in Hollywood? Pilot season

I looked at the calendar and thought, “It’s been one of those days today.”

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter? P, without it he’s irate.

My opinion on mediums where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged? I’m forum.

What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments? A metal band

waldo at the gym can’t none of y’all spot me

I want to tell a joke here… …but it’s about sex and I don’t think most redditors get it

[diary, day 3642 on deserted island] How can I still be fat?