My work day – 8:00-11:30 – wonder what I’ll eat for lunch today 11:30 – 12:00 – eat lunch 12:00 – 4:30 – Damn lunch was good.

Who hosts the Late Night Show in North Korea? Jimmy Kim-il

[Dark] What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society.

Seagull joke Q: What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts? A: Steven Seagull

Why was Mr. Behaving sad? His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad

What’s the ultimate rejection? When you masturbate and your hand falls asleep.

After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn’t shut up about how he was into her before she got big.

What’s ten inches long and white? Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn’t black for once ;D

Face down, ass up, that’s the way babies often sleep. Adorable!