ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Acton into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]

Why does Peter Pan Fly? Because he Neverlands.

What do the films ‘Titanic’ and ‘The Sixth Sense’ have in common? Icy dead people.

Dealer: Anyone follow you dude? Me: just my cat *dealer opens trench coat & my mom jumps out* Mom: why are you using drugs???

When I smacked Dwayne Johnson’s ass… I really hit Rock bottom.

3 middle aged men walk into a notary office. Half life 3 confirmed.

I used to do the “hokey pokey”… But I turned myself around.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. LOL just kidding it was double homicide.

Is your last name Stilton? *insert cheesy pickup line here…*

Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don’t like like the internet.