How to do math with sex. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don’t multiply!

I’ve been taking something for my Kleptomania. I’ve been taking something for my Kleptomania

What’s the difference between a smart midget… What’s the difference between a smart midget and a woman with a venereal disease? Well, one’s a cunning runt…

does anyone know a knock knock joke that’s actually funny? most of the ones i have heard are not funny at all.

Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I’m not fishing I’m drowning worms.

It’s hard to think about mama johns staying home with all the children johns while papa johns are away at pizza wars.

It ain’t harassment if… Her ass meant to be slapped

PMS jokes are not funny… Period.

Hey pal, you wanna take this outside? *me & the guy from the bar scoop the bug up on a napkin and set it down gently on the grass in front*

I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver.