Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible? They’re plane to sea

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder Frankly I don’t think he’s got a leg to stand on.

What does a vegan zombie eat? GGGRRRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!

What’s the difference between a McDonald’s and anal? McDonald’s makes your day, anal makes your hole weak.

Have you heard the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well.

How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier it’s going to rain. If not it already is.

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail? Walmart, they’re the world’s biggest retailer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.

What do you get when you intersect two planes? A national travesty.

Life is like a penis, loose and hanging freely. Until a woman comes along and makes it hard.