Popcorn. Potato. Frozen Pizza. Cold Coffee. James Incandenza. Defrost. Refrost. Cancer. Corn. “”Aren’t these weird microwave buttons?

FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was “Snickerboots Fancybasket.”

You can always tell a guy masturbates a lot, by his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.

A man walked into a bar… don’t worry…he was fine he just had a minor bump on his head.

Wife :’Darling, look. I haven’t worn this in 8 years and it still fits.’ Hubby : It’s a scarf!

How many ants does it take to rent a house? Ten ants

Moon Landing conspiracy theorists should be called Luna-tics Just posting here because r/showerthoughts doesn’t allow puns.

What’s Jesus’s porn name? Hot cross buns.

Girls of Reddit what do you like in a man Lol we all know girls don’t do the “Internet”.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate the Pizza before it was cool.