Whats the fastest way to a women’s heart? A Knife

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Get me a cold one.” The bartender gives him my girlfriend.

whats the most popular drink at a nude beach? Sunny D

What comes after 69? Mouthwash. I’m sure this has been posted before, but I thought it was funny.

Your psychiatrist’s opinion about your social media habits don’t count if he has less followers than you.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only a rapist would think the violation of a light socket by a foreign object is a matter to make jokes about.

Have you heard about the plant in the maths office? It is growing square roots!

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It’s an obscure number. You’ve probably never heard of it.

Girls who say bestie are the worstie.

And the award for best neckwear goes to… huh, well would you look at that. It was a tie