If 666 is the evil number Then 25.806975… is the root of all evil.

Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS.

What language do pirates speak? Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

Communism is awful. It’s just common cents.

I made a commitment not to masturbate for the past four weeks… I didn’t pull it off

Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries In Teenage Girls… (REMOVED)

I met a Wheelchair user yesterday. He’s a stand up guy.

A drivers license is basically just a selfie with way too much info.

Which 20th century President’s wife looked like she could have been LGBT? Eleanor Brucevelt.