Why is light beer similar to sex in a boat? They’re both fucking close to water.

Date: “So, what do you want to be?” Me: “Impressed.”

Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania? Very rare-ly.

What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite? A lunartick.

Apple products of late is a crime against good design The iPhone battery case should be charged as an accessory

“It’s no biggie” I can’t tell if they are trying to make me feel better or insulting my manhood on the first date.

If Mayans could predict the future, why didn’t they predict their extinction?

What do you call a bull masturbating? Beef stroganoff

I’m not a fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks.

Have you heard of the movie called constipation? No? Because it has not come out yet