My brother’s pretty good at Russian Roulette… He’s only lost once.

Pupil: In other schools pupils get a choice of computers to use. Teacher: You get a choice her too. Use the one we’ve got or don’t use any at all.

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with “A woman once told me..”

Can you show me how to use the Internet? I’d better – otherwise you’ll just go round and round in circles.

Just realized I’ve been misquoting George Orwell since 1985.

If that’s his reaction to spinach, Popeye should never try cocaine.

Why aren’t cowboys circumcised? So they have somewhere to put their dip at lunch

[escorted out of google hq with armful of snakes at 9:02am on my 1st day] WELL MAYBE U SHOULDA CLARIFIED WAT U MEANT BY “PYTHON PROGRAMMER”

So Chris Brown and Rihanna are now Engaged and they have a song together called “Ain’t nobody’s business.” Well, I just wrote my own song called, “Ain’t Nobody Cares!”

FUNNY SEX JOKES 😉 Do you like dragons? Because i’ll be dragon my balls all over your face