I just recently became a vegetarian. I quit meat cold tofu.

When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are It’s a ball of gas and fire It can’t hear you.

What’s a ginger’s favorite drink? Ginger ale!

The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want

2 eggs were on a frying pan One of them says: “Gee, it’s really hot in here!” The other egg says: “HOLY CRAP, A TALKING EGG!”

What’s a teenage fish’s favorite website? Prawn Hub

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if “Thomas the Tank Engine” was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

Did you hear about the dog who had sleep apnea? He had to get a C-PUP machine.

Several of Hitlers Generals disappeared after the war, and became animal doctors. Because they were Veteran Aryans.

Heard about the new Itailian all-weather tires? Dago through rain Dago through mud Dago through snow And when Dago flat Dago wop-wop-wop-wop…