Your clothes will never forgive you… You always hang them out to dry.

What does Light Yagami drink at the bar? Tekira!

My girlfriend just told me she has a STD… I’m Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship

A roasted peanut is a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts.

I would tell the one about Jonestown.. But the punch line is too long

What’s the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made with the juice of the fruit.

If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.

Ur mum is so ugly That hello kitty said goodbye

On the 5th day of Christmas? Christmas is ONE day, Carol. Convert to Judaism if you need a longer holiday.

A Latvian joke. J: Kapec vistas skerso celu? A: Lai noklutu uz otru pusi!