An ESL student accidentally bought a middle Engish dictionary… …and hath furnished many a quipster and baffoon with merriment and jocularity

How the hell is the director of the CIA unable to hide an affair?

The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.

What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to pigs? A hamosexual.

How do you catch a Douchebag? JerkBait.

I just can’t trust stairs anymore Try seem like they’re down for anything, but really they’re always up to something

I was fooling around with my new Roomba… I guess you could call it nice, clean fun.

A German is at the border to go to Poland. The officer asks him: Name? Hans Gruber. Address? 123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin Occupation? Nein, just visiting.

Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid. I was petrified.

I’ve been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest.