Does anyone know if it’s worth signing up for this sex offender registry? Will I learn any new moves or techniques?

Those who say “two wrongs don’t make a right” have obviously never tried ranch dressing on french fries.

To the people who have birthdays this week… your parents sure know how to celebrate Valentine’s Day!

Roses are infrared Violets are infrared I’m hunting you for sport And soon you’ll be dead -a valentine from the Predator

Where do ants keep their armies? in their sleevies

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They just arrest the entire room for being dark.

I’m not going back to school ever again Why ever not? The teacher doesn’t know a thing all she does is ask questions!

The KKK was started by some dork who wanted to wear robes and call himself a wizard and his dad was like “Ok but only if you’re racist too.”

A baby crawls into a bar… He asks the bartender for a milk. The bartender says, “I guess you want that in a bottle?”. The baby replies, “What do you have on tit?”

Day one of acting school should be teaching actors how to hold an empty cup of coffee on ‘Law and Order’ like it’s a full cup of coffee.