It’s pretty stupid how cats will just play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. Hold on, gotta check my iPhone.

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr’s mind when his plane crashed? The console. What was JFK Jr’s wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

What do you call an unidentifiable eating disorder? An a-nom-aly

If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn’t get cornrows did the trip even happen?

I will not be stepping down as moderator for this sub-reddit, and here is why. I wasn’t one in the first place.

My wife said to take the dogs for a walk because they looked like they needed to go out. But I think they’re full of crap.

What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. – *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*

Why did Mickey leave Minnie? Because she was fucking goofy.

I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing. It was contagious.

Me: ‘Why are you going through my phone?’ BF: ‘Do you have something to hide?’ Me: ‘I’m gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.’