Hey airplane designers, why don’t the people who pick the number of windows talk to the people who pick the number of rows?

The problem with telling lawyer jokes is Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and everyone else doesn’t think they’re jokes.

What gas is best dressed at a dinner party? Formaldehyde

I’ve had good’ tattooed down my cock. I like to see a bit of good in everyone.

Kleptomaniacs are the worst hecklers. They always steal the punch…

How much resistance can a Buddhist monk endure? Ohmmmmmm…………?

everyone’s always saying ‘the good ones die young’, ‘god only takes the best’. so I must be immortal

How does Donald Trump plan to expel all Muslims from the county? Legalize Uber.

Keanu Reeves watching a Keanu Reeves movie trying to figure out how he’s in two places at once.

I like to make jokes about summarizing stories without context. For example: *…Long story short, my mother isn’t allowed to walk on the neighbor’s lawn anymore*